Where has Santa gone?

Dear Father,

It's December once again, and Christmas is lurking just around the corner. This used to be a pretty lonely holiday for me. There were the small presents. There were a few friends. There was plenty of food on the table. But still there is something missing all these past Christmases.


And that something was you.

Years ago, your absence was very much noticed. I would decorate the Christmas tree all by myself. Figure out how to get the star on the top. Ask my cousin's help with the electrical stuff. Come up with the best Christmas cards or gifts I can create. Cook something special for the Noche Buena and eat it with the family. That was how Christmas would go for me. It was monotonous, with nothing special happening. I always waited though. Always hoped. That one day Santa would answer my long time wish to finally spend a Christmas with you.


I once had the courage to come up with a Christmas list during my childhood years. It composed of the latest Barbie that was the latest model back then, gift wrapped and delivered right at my doorstep. I ended up forgetting about it. I tore it up and threw it away when I discovered it again and was told that the reason Santa can't go here is because we don't have any chimneys. LOL :D


I remembered, when I was in grade school, our Grade 2 teacher gave us star-shaped slips of yellow cardboard to write all our wishes for Christmas. All the stars will then be placed at our door to form a Christmas tree out of it. Guess what I wished for?


That there would be peace in the world and that all families would be together this Christmas.


I had grown past the age of making gift lists for Santa. Now, I'm making a list for the people around me. The pain of your absence was lessened by the presence of my family and friends. Christmases today were much happier than it was before.


But still, I can't resist thinking about you. You are still my father no matter what. And however short was the span of time that the two of us spent together, you can't erase the fact that you still have some place in this small broken heart of mine.


I still think of you even today. Where in the world could he be staying right now? Is there snow in that country? I wish he would send some chocolates. Even melted snow would be nice. I'd just keep it frozen. What is his health condition? Is he sick? I hope he isn't. And if he is, I hope he gets well soon. How about gifts? Will he be receiving any? What would he like if he were here?

I think it will be a very very long time before all these questions and many more are answered. But I can wait as long as God permits me to stay in this mortal realm. I just want you to know that I miss you very much.


And Papa... Merry Christmas... 


PS.
I hope you can come home before Christmas Eve so that we could spend the Holiday together. :)


Sincerely yours,
Charlene Love :)

I love you. ♥